But I guess ultimately what scares me about marriage is where do you find this person? You know a lot of times, most successful relationships, people meet through work, school, mutual friends. But what’s most interesting to me is when people just meet in life, just randomly. You know, I have a friend, he got married, I asked him like “Hey, uh, where’d you meet your wife?” He was like “I was leaving Bed, Bath & Beyond. I was looking for my car - I drive a gray Prius. I saw a different gray Prius, I thought it was mine, I walked up to it, I realized I had the wrong car, but I bumped into Carol, we started talking, that was that”. That’s unbelievable. Think about all the random factors that had to come together to make this one moment possible - this one moment that changed these two people’s entire lives: First off, this guy has to live in this particular town. Then he has to get a gray Prius. Then he has to need to go to Bed, Bath & Beyond. Then he has to go to that particular Bed, Bath & Beyond. Then there has to be another guy who also lives in town, also drives a gray Prius, also needs to go to Bed, Bath & Beyond, also goes to that particular Bed, Bath & Beyond at around the same time. Then they have to both park somewhat near each other, my friend has to leave before the other guy leaves, see the wrong Prius, think it’s his, walk up to it. Then the woman, Carol, needs to be near the wrong gray Prius for a million other random reasons. They bump into each other, they start talking, their entire lives are changed. That’s the most amazing and terrifying thing about life. It is, cause the amazing thing is that at any moment, any one of us can have that moment that totally changes our lives. You could be leaving the show tonight, bump into someone… it could change your life. You don’t know, that could happen. The terrifying thing is… what if we’re all supposed to be at Bed Bath & Beyond right now?

Posted on December 12th with (94530) notes
Aziz Ansari, Buried Alive (via deadsleep)
Posted on September 24th with (1079) notes


Watch Seth Rogen and I brainstorm ideas in the trailer for my new Netflix standup special Buried Alive. 

Posted on September 18th with (30941) notes



Parks and Recreations' Aziz Ansari shuts down a microaggression on the Golden Globes' red carpet.

(H/t yayponies)

I want a screen on my headstone that plays this video on loop.

Posted on May 22nd with (1124) notes


Jimmy Fallon Interview: Part 1 - Late Nights and Dating in the Texting Era… 

Posted on January 15th with (7730) notes


Golden Globes 2013.

Thanks whoever made this! 

Also though not capture here, thanks to Daniel Day Lewis for laughing when I said I loved his work in Expendables 2. 

Posted on October 26th with (85367) notes

Aziz Ansari on ‘Conan’

Posted on October 16th with (956) notes



I shared my thoughts on Chick-Fil-A/tasty food/homophobia on Kimmel last night. (Chick-Fil-A stuff starts at 1:27)

Here’s part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0JvCMmPymo

Here’s part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTMa3gXgjC8

Posted on September 2nd with (1) notes

Aziz Ansari is killing me on Twitter right now. 

Someone just give the man the rights to make Hitch2 Already! 

Posted on June 22nd with (3261) notes
Posted on June 12th with (423) notes

56 | 100 - Jeremy Renner

Posted on June 1st with (4430) notes

Aziz Ansari, Rihanna, Paul Rudd, Michael Cera, Kevin Hart, James Franco, Mindy Kaling, Jason Segel, Jonah Hill and Emma Watson on the set of Seth Rogen’s new film “The End of the World” in New Orleans, Louisiana on May 31, 2012